You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
