I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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