We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
