He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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