I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need a beard to bite.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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