I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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