whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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