I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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