Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Panties = found
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