well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
