Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
