i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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