just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
