He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
