As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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