I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
