This girl is more easily done than said...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
