it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Green mimosas i think yes
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm at about main and main street
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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