People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
