I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
