my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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