I've blown a few things in my day
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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