I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize