Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
