I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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