White coat. Heels.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and i looked up. we had an audience...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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