If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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