Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
