i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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