weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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