why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
