I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
whose parrot is this?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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