I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
