Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
