I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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