He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
