It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
