i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
