Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
