so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
