And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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