Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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