he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
