In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize