garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize