You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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