They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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