You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
