I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
