I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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