EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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