the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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