he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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