I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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