is your mom at the bar?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
