Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
this is an emotional support booty call
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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