apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize