Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
