Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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