Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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