how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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