she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
