If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize