he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
