So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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