See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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